Sinking ships and Wal-mart Failures, as if WM does other things

Yall, I think I have boarded a sinking ship. The kind where all of the dumb people get the life boats but no paddles and all the rest of us are left to plug the holes.  I will have more on this tomorrow as it's the first day of school and all, but it may be scary. It is a good thing, I am going to be rocking some kick ass shoes, because it is important to feel like a bad ass on your first day of anything. 

Anyway, I have been to Wal-Mart more than a person with my IQ should, here is what I have learned. 

1. You don't need to go to the circus to see the bearded lady. 

2. You can find a man by wearing the right outfit at Wal-mart. The right outfit however is based on your own discretion. 

3. Someone you don't want to talk to will talk to you, and it is NEVER a Wal-mart employee, because clearly you can't find any of those. 

4. ALL of the lesbians in my town work as checkers in WM, and they hit on people as they come through the line. 

5. Wal-mart will run out of whatever you need so that after you have made the decision to hate your life and go to WM, you still have to go to another store. Recently they have been out of water, and notebook paper. No shit. 

True Blood is on, so I have to go watch the bloody sex fest and hope to stay awake. Don't tell the diet Gods, that this girl is drowning her sorrows in ice cream, so just in case the boat doesn't sink on it's own, I can help it out.

Love ya!